Nancy I hear you and I havent got cancer. I have done this all my life helped others and not myself and suprisingly sometimes I want to find that island where there is no human life on it!. People can be so distance in their thinking and not realize it and not mean it. Even though I dont know your family at all, that in the situation on her wanting you to eat the homemade icecream, she was wanting from you a nice comment about her icecream she probably made for you. She wants that approval from you. People that dont understand cancer, and are not on the same page as you are, we sometimes expect them to know exactly what is going on, sadly that is not the case. The most ordinary of all is the fact that the ones you help are taking your life for granted thinking you are going to always be here,they do not consider it to be any other way, which probably you will be, but when you are not, that is their reflextion time to say "if only". Give those around you all your warmth you have as thats what sort of person you are and feel happy about it and do look after number one "yourself" but with no regrets or resentments as you will only make yourself unhappy. Until they are in your position they will never understand the help love and reassurence you need no matter what the occasion.Stay strong and keep them little cells open for their oxygen, you need it. Would I be rude to ask you what birth sign are you and your family member who made the icecream.???
"dorrnancy" wrote:
> I have come to the realization that I have serious co-dependency issues, putting everyone else first in my family and trying to please them and not myself. It's so odd, that every time I have had a recurrence, I end up taking care of OTHERS. But part of it is the fear that I am going to die and I want to love and care for people as my last act in this world.....
>
> I want to take a stand right now and say: CO-DEPENDENCY NO MORE. Everyone in my family can take care of their own needs, including emotional, mental and financial ones. It is not up to me to support others at a time when I am fighting for my life.
>
> I am putting myself FIRST. Everyone is a grown up and can manage their own lives. All I have to do is take care of ME.
>
> So, there!! I got it off my chest. Any other co-dependents out there struggling with selfish family members?
>
> Nancy Dorr
>
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