Thank you all very much for your love and concern! I will state unequivivably that without this support would not be alive today, or at the very least I would be completely mentally incapacitated with fear.
I love and care deeply about every one of you, even those that I have "tangled with" a bit in the past.
For those that don't know me very well, I started hanging out on this board about 8 months ago to try to find a solution to my stage 4 colon cancer. For quite awhile I was doing quite well! I had sort of developed my own protocol that consisted of some heavy hitters including LDN, Artemix, Sutherlandia OPC, IP6, and various other "lighter" supplements to help back them up.
Everything seemed to be going quite well until about Easter, when I suddenly and unexpectedly started experiencing severe pain in my gut. A CT scan revealed that there were mets in my mesentary area of my gut that were likely cutting off the blood supply to my intestinges, giving fairly severe angina-like pains, only with intestinal origins and not heart origins.
WTF? Where did these come from and why did they appear out of the blue, without much warning?
So I've tried a little of everything to zero in on their causes. I tried anti-spasmotics. I tried cutting out all supplements for a week.
I tried juice fasts. I tried playing around with various levels of herbs and supplements.
I tried seeing two local naturopaths to help, and neither was much help. (Sigh). And for those of you on this board who are naturopaths or chioropractics, PLEASE rest easy -- I don't sue people! I think Vincent erroneously got that impression many months ago that let to some friction between us.
I am now, unfortunately, reduced to taking some powerful pain meds (oxycodone via patch and pill) and one tranquilizer every night to help me sleep. This means I can no longer taks LDN, because you cannot take LDN and opiate based pain pills at the same time.
So I am kind of in retreat mode.
I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE for failing to keep everyone informed on this board! You all are THE BEST!!!! BAR NONE. I have come to love you all, even those few with ideas I consider a bit out there. The fringe folk -- you still deserve my upmost respect for being a part of this brave and corageous battle too.
I feel like a failure because things have been going badly for me. At times there is shame for me in posting, and an avoidance factor. I feel guilty about asking asking asking asking for advice, when obviously I have little constructive to add myself. (Otherwise I'd be getting better).
No, I am not in hospice yet. But my pain is increasing and my stamina and mobility are decreasing, with is scary.
I will do my best to check in at least once a day, and to try to contribute something positive to this wonderful group. If you don't mind, I'd still like to ask for advice.
At least I can still offer advice on the spiritual realm. I talked with Nancy a few days ago and she said she posted a post about the fact that Death is not Failure. I have not read this post yet, and I need to. But just from the title, I would wholeheartedly agree.
We are all going to die at some time, whether it be at 50 from colon cancer or at 95 from natural causes, or tomorrow from an automobile accident.
Are we ready? Are we at peace with ourselves about this? I know for sure that I am not, because of the fear I still have surrounding the issue. I have a LOT of work to do between God and I reqarding this isse.
And it is frustrating, because I keep running into people who I consider to be far more spiritually immature than I am (and in no immediate distress) trying to force me to believe things, often very contradictory things.
I hope we can talk about this more, because it is VITAL and CRUCIAL to a cancer patient's chances of survival. If you don't believe me, ask Vincent who has seen it first-hand, hundreds of times.
What I have found to be true so far is the following (for myself):
I must bless God every morning, noon, and night for the life he has given me and the beauty he has surrounded me with.
I must forgive all people who have done real and/or imagined things against me.
I must seek councel with God every time the fear of death and abandonment takes over me.
Well, God bless you all. Sincerely. I love you all.
The one piece of advice I would like to ask right now is the best way to increase my caloric intake, yet stay within an anti-cancer diet.
God Bless you all!
--- In cancercured@
>
> Roz,
>
> I spoke with Jim on the telephone last night and I told him many people care about him and were concerned. I asked if he wanted me to rely anything to the group. He said to let everyone know he has had a good last week and July 4th and has been spending time with his family. He so appreciates all the love and support from everyone. He said he would be getting back on the site soon.
>
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Nancy Dorr
>
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment