CANCER CURED: [cancercured] Re: Has anyone heard from Jim McElroy?

I will read it very shortly, Nancy - thank you so much!

--- In cancercured@yahoogroups.com, Nancy Dorr <dorrnancy@...> wrote:
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> Jim,
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> I actually wrote "Death Is Not A Failure" because your wife asked me to when you were out of town. We had hoped you would read it. She and I talked briefly. Little did I know that I would be facing possible liver mets and disease progression in both lungs shortly after writing this.
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> I am now feeling more tired all of a sudden and winded when I walk upstairs or hike. I was so down today I actually thought of asking my doctor to put me on hospice. If I am on hospice, I can utilize Physician-Assisted Suicide, which I campaigned for back in 1994. I was the campaign's poster child. I will not suffer with my death as I will utilize the drugs to end my suffering when the time comes. This does bring me peace-of-mind that I will not suffer. Death is ahead of me and you and everyone else. In some fashion, we all have to make the transition. If you can not find this article, then let me know and I will send it to you privately.
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> Today I was tired of fighting. I don't mean this in a what some have labelled as a "self-pitying party, but that I have the fear that I can't beat mets to the liver. I got on the internet last night and was shocked to find that there are people who have lived 5 or so years with both liver and lung mets from breast cancer. On this particular website, everyone is doing chemo. I am considering chemo myself, if it gets the results of tumor shrinkage and longevity as the gals document. Never thought I'd hear myself saying I'd do chemo, but I am not ready to die, even though there are times I am tired of this on-going battle with this chronic disease and I think death would be an end to the suffering. I cancelled a trip to see my daughter tonight, then called her later and told her I feel up to driving the 100 miles south of Portland to see her and her family.
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> As for your diet, I am struggling with this as well. I am throwing up every morning before I eat breakfast and I am not sure where this is coming from. My main calories are coming from fats in healthy oils (olive, hemp, coconut), coconut pulp, avocados, as well as nuts and seeds. As a breast cancer survivor, I know that many experts have said that a 10-12% of your diet should come from fats, but then what the hell am I supposed to eat then if I can't have grains (which convert to sugar) and can't have most fruits? Read my post on the wheatgrass powder thread and I outline what I am eating. I am struggling with the coconut water (it has some natural sugar in it, but is lower then most fruits) and did indeed have a coconut mylk "shake" this morning from a young virgin coconut. It settled my stomach immediately. If you look at Cousens/Young's protocol, I don't think most people can stay on it. It is extremely difficult, and yet I think it is the best one
> for anti-cancer. Sherrie Calbom (I sent you one of her books) has some yummy vegetable smoothies which has gotten me thru some tough days. I also came up with a raw soup warmed with warm water added to a broth I make from raw vegies. I can send you some recipes at the end of the week. But again, it is a struggle to get enough calories and yet be cancer-free. I made a ton of raw recipes today, taking them in a cooler when I visit my daughter and her family.
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> The Cousens/Young diet is time-consuming as you have to sprout things and prepare the recipes in order to survive the limiting foods allowed. Nuts and seeds should be soaked before eating, etc. I also ate two non-organic strawberries today when I was preparing a client's dinner. I'm not perfect yet, but trying.
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> Honesty of where you are at emotionally is important because then you dump out the negative and can take a look at where you are at, acknowledging that this cancer journey, especially for us Stage IV's is a roller-coaster ride. Normal emotions as fear, anger, frustation, wanting to die, fear of dying are going to come around. I called up my best friend the day after I got the written CT scan report and said, "I am ready to die." She asked me, "What can I do?" I told her, "Let me go. I have been hanging on for three years for other people so that they aren't hurt if I die." She wasn't at all comfortable with this and immediately decided there must be something I could do to fight this. The people we love, whether on this site or in our personal lives, have their own feelings to deal with as well, regarding our illness. It is difficult for them as well. I called my friend up the next day and apologized for being so negative, but I really think this
> came on the hills of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett's deaths. Why oh why did I watch the memorial with Jackson's gold coffin---the image they kept editing into each scene in such a dramatic way? All I could think about was, "There's a dead body in there!!"
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> I have to get ready to go out of town, so keep us posted if you are up to it, Jim. You are not a failure. You have tried so hard. No one on this site is a failure. Maybe we haven't been 100% perfect on our protocols, but at least we have done the best we could.
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> Are we up for the fight? Are there miracles still out there? I believe so. I am going to take this day-by-day ONE DAY AT A TIME, ONE MINUTE AT A TIME if need be and do the very best I can to fight this. If I do chemo, I have to answer only to myself, not anyone else in this world. I don't have to hide the fact that I may do this. Why should I? If it has prolonged some folks's life, then I'm for it. I know that CHEMO is the nembasus of some folks, but then that's there right. Just a few weeks ago I stated I'd never do chemo. Well, then have your a## on the line and see what you'd do in my shoes?
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> I am still open to alternatives, but they have to work. If anyone has any heavy-hitters they can throw my way, please do so. I am now in a very serious place and it is going to be a tough road ahead. Any help at all---mainstream or alternative is most appreciated. Oh and I don't sue naturopaths either. The only person I have ever sued was a collection agency who called my work. My boss called me into her office and asked, "Nancy, just tell me what you have done. The feds are looking for you." Turns out the collection agency represented themselves as the federal government. Not only did I win $1,000, but I got the Oregon law changed on collection agencies. Anyway, I am still fighting. Here is a recent newspaper article on my fight against taxes on health care premiums in our state. It has a photo of me. http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/06/businesses_taxed_more_people_s.html
> I will be out of town until Friday.
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> Take care,
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> Nancy
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> --- On Sun, 7/12/09, jrrjim <jim.mcelroy10@...> wrote:
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> From: jrrjim <jim.mcelroy10@...>
> Subject: [cancercured] Re: Has anyone heard from Jim McElroy?
> To: cancercured@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Sunday, July 12, 2009, 10:42 AM
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> Thank you all very much for your love and concern! I will state unequivivably that without this support would not be alive today, or at the very least I would be completely mentally incapacitated with fear.
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> I love and care deeply about every one of you, even those that I have "tangled with" a bit in the past.
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> For those that don't know me very well, I started hanging out on this board about 8 months ago to try to find a solution to my stage 4 colon cancer. For quite awhile I was doing quite well! I had sort of developed my own protocol that consisted of some heavy hitters including LDN, Artemix, Sutherlandia OPC, IP6, and various other "lighter" supplements to help back them up.
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> Everything seemed to be going quite well until about Easter, when I suddenly and unexpectedly started experiencing severe pain in my gut. A CT scan revealed that there were mets in my mesentary area of my gut that were likely cutting off the blood supply to my intestinges, giving fairly severe angina-like pains, only with intestinal origins and not heart origins.
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> WTF? Where did these come from and why did they appear out of the blue, without much warning?
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> So I've tried a little of everything to zero in on their causes. I tried anti-spasmotics. I tried cutting out all supplements for a week.
> I tried juice fasts. I tried playing around with various levels of herbs and supplements.
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> I tried seeing two local naturopaths to help, and neither was much help. (Sigh). And for those of you on this board who are naturopaths or chioropractics, PLEASE rest easy -- I don't sue people! I think Vincent erroneously got that impression many months ago that let to some friction between us.
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> I am now, unfortunately, reduced to taking some powerful pain meds (oxycodone via patch and pill) and one tranquilizer every night to help me sleep. This means I can no longer taks LDN, because you cannot take LDN and opiate based pain pills at the same time.
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> So I am kind of in retreat mode.
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> I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE for failing to keep everyone informed on this board! You all are THE BEST!!!! BAR NONE. I have come to love you all, even those few with ideas I consider a bit out there. The fringe folk -- you still deserve my upmost respect for being a part of this brave and corageous battle too.
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> I feel like a failure because things have been going badly for me. At times there is shame for me in posting, and an avoidance factor. I feel guilty about asking asking asking asking for advice, when obviously I have little constructive to add myself. (Otherwise I'd be getting better).
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> No, I am not in hospice yet. But my pain is increasing and my stamina and mobility are decreasing, with is scary.
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> I will do my best to check in at least once a day, and to try to contribute something positive to this wonderful group. If you don't mind, I'd still like to ask for advice.
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> At least I can still offer advice on the spiritual realm. I talked with Nancy a few days ago and she said she posted a post about the fact that Death is not Failure. I have not read this post yet, and I need to. But just from the title, I would wholeheartedly agree.
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> We are all going to die at some time, whether it be at 50 from colon cancer or at 95 from natural causes, or tomorrow from an automobile accident.
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> Are we ready? Are we at peace with ourselves about this? I know for sure that I am not, because of the fear I still have surrounding the issue. I have a LOT of work to do between God and I reqarding this isse.
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> And it is frustrating, because I keep running into people who I consider to be far more spiritually immature than I am (and in no immediate distress) trying to force me to believe things, often very contradictory things.
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> I hope we can talk about this more, because it is VITAL and CRUCIAL to a cancer patient's chances of survival. If you don't believe me, ask Vincent who has seen it first-hand, hundreds of times.
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> What I have found to be true so far is the following (for myself):
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> I must bless God every morning, noon, and night for the life he has given me and the beauty he has surrounded me with.
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> I must forgive all people who have done real and/or imagined things against me.
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> I must seek councel with God every time the fear of death and abandonment takes over me.
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> Well, God bless you all. Sincerely. I love you all.
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> The one piece of advice I would like to ask right now is the best way to increase my caloric intake, yet stay within an anti-cancer diet.
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> God Bless you all!
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> --- In cancercured@ yahoogroups. com, Nancy Dorr <dorrnancy@ ..> wrote:
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> > Roz,
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> > I spoke with Jim on the telephone last night and I told him many people care about him and were concerned. I asked if he wanted me to rely anything to the group. He said to let everyone know he has had a good last week and July 4th and has been spending time with his family. He so appreciates all the love and support from everyone. He said he would be getting back on the site soon.
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> > Sincerely,
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> > Nancy Dorr
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